Day 9- Are You Chasing Relationship?
It’s good to check whether we are running towards relationships before giving ourselves an honest assessment of our characters. Are relationships constantly on your mind? Are you feeling under pressure to be in a relationship by the end of next week? Are you unsatisfied with yourself? When we run headfirst into relationships, without building up self-esteem and self-love, we leave ourselves vulnerable to staying in toxic relationships out of desperation. Allow yourself to flourish, give yourself time to grow, to become healthy, and to perform at your best. If romantic relationships were truly essential to our life, we would be born and immediately attached to another individual to help us survive. The truth is there are many people who have achieved amazing and great things without an intimate partner. There’s nothing wrong with having a desire to be with someone but has your desire become a burden that fills you with worry and anxiety? Don’t chase relationships but pursue singleness so you can attract the right people when you are at the best version of yourself. Don’t chase relationships or marriage looking for love but because you love yourself and want to share it with someone else.
TIP: Ask yourself if your desire for a relationship has spawned into fear and worry. If it has, it’s time to reset. Worry won’t change the situation and fear will lead you into situations that aren’t in your best interest. When I feel fear or worry, I personally put my trust in God who renews my thinking. Consider the questions below:
Ask yourself why you are feeling fear and worry about something that is supposed to be a good thing?
a. Is it because of cultural and social expectations?
b. Is it because you need to be loved?
c. Is it because you fear being lonely?
d. Is it because you have a rose-tinted view of relationships?
e. Are you ready to take a relationship even if the person has serious red flags?
Ask yourself what kind of relationship do you want? Is it loving, long-lasting, and healthy?
Relationships like this are amazing, but don’t be fooled, they require work. If you desire a loving and healthy relationship, you need to be clear of what that requires of you and what that looks like. Apart from communication and kindness, it's understanding how that person wants to be loved. It’s also understanding that women will often say that they want to be loved but men will often say that they want to be respected. Many of us haven’t grown up in situations where we’ve seen this take place in a healthy and fruitful manner. There is much to understand and explore as you are not just fulfilling your own needs but the needs of somebody else. Healthy, loving relationships are extremely valuable, and to last long, they require daily effort from both individuals. Once you have an understanding, you will have a foundation for your future relationships and can meet someone that aligns with it.
Written by Jennifer Enti - Assistant Content Creator for Dear Girls.
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