Day 8 - What is the end goal of these relationships?
Relationships should not be taking away from you. They should be adding to your life, you should be ever-growing as a result of them. Always improving and always giving. There are some relationships that will naturally fizzle out and there will be some relationships that you will have to cut off. As these are not life-giving branches but life-sucking weeds. Relationships are a cycle of giving and nourishing. When it comes to an intimate, romantic relationship, what is the end goal? Is it more experimental? Are you just seeing where the end of the relationship track stops, hoping it doesn’t end at a cliff’s edge? Liking someone is great, but soon the question comes, ‘where is this going?’. Are their values aligning with yours, do your future visions align, do your spiritual lives align? Are their behaviours something that you can cope with, or are you tolerating them because the intimacy is nice? Remember that relationships are an emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental investment. Not everyone that goes into an intimate relationship comes out the same. This is also true for non-romantic relationships. It is much easier to leave a relationship in the early stages than when you’ve become emotionally invested. The more time you spend with a person, the more the emotional bonds are tightening and taking root. That’s when it becomes physically painful to cut the ties. Be intentional when it comes to romantic relationships as these are often the most devastating on our health.
TIP: When you work on yourself and discover who you are, you begin to attract like-minded people. You should be flourishing and your growth shouldn’t be stunted. Also, there should be no patterns or cycles of abuse. Take a look at the current relationships in your life and consider the following questions. These can be used as markers for future relationships. As a result of the relationship:
1. Are you growing or becoming better as a person?
2. Are you being uplifted and encouraged?
3. Are you being challenged?
4. When you do wrong, are you held accountable?
5. Are you able to have honest communication?
6. Is there understanding and forgiveness?
7. Is there trust?
8. Is there genuine love instead of manipulation?
9. Are your best interests rooted for?
10. Do you feel joy, peace, or inspired when in their presence?
Written by Jennifer Enti - Assistant Content Creator for Dear Girls.