Day 7 - How do you treat the people already in your life?
We often think we’re ready for relationships because we’re led by our feelings first. And if the other person feels the same, why not? This must mean I’m ready. A good marker for seeing if you’re ready for an intimate relationship is using the relationships already in your life as a marker. How is your relationship with your mother? Your father? Your siblings? Your childhood best friends? What would they say about you if asked to describe you?
Yes, some of us are unfortunate to be surrounded by toxic people that we are unable to cut off at first glance. Overshadowed by other bigger trees which are blocking our sunlight, but this is the moment to be truly honest and learn from these relationships. No one wants to hold a mirror to their own face, but remember that even if you don’t hold the mirror, someone will be there to do it for you. And some will do it in the most damaging way.
What have you learned from your parent's relationships and their interactions with their friends? What do you like and what do you dislike? Is there manipulation, is there a great sense of humour, is there severe criticism or is there empathy and kindness? Learning from the relationships around you can help to prune you. It can help you to glean your own traits that might be considered toxic. Has someone said you’re blunt or a procrastinator, are you tactless or impulsive? Are these harmful to you and those around you? Instead of running away from you, it’s time to spend time with you. It’s time to take note and do better for yourself, so you can be better for others and flourish in your relationships.
Consider the people in your life, what can you learn from their characteristics and traits?
You may know people who are great at attracting people to them:
Do they have a sense of calm?
Are they great at giving advice?
Do they have a great sense of humour?
You don’t have to try to be like these people. That will only drain you and make you inauthentic. However, you may notice that some traits are already in you. You may also notice how to deal with situations in a healthy way which you can incorporate into your own life.
Always remember that you can learn something from everyone around you. Let the good make you better and the bad make you wiser.
Take note of the comments people have made regarding your character. What good things can you polish and refine? What bad things can you learn from and work on?
Written by Jennifer Enti - Assistant Content Creator for Dear Girls.