Day 6 - Why should someone want to be in a relationship with you?
If you are single and wanting a relationship, it's good to reflect on the above question. As a seed, what do you truly have to offer someone else? What value can you give? Relationships feel wonderful and intimacy is great, but beyond that, what are you contributing to that other’s person’s life? What wisdom, knowledge, and experience have you gained to contribute to another being? The mango tree’s flourishing allows it to produce fruit that adds value to someone else’s life. It gives nutrients to our bodies and leaves a pleasant taste in our mouths. Some are happier for eating it.
No one is happier for tasting rotten fruit and we are yet to hear anyone rave about it.
Consider the following:
● Are you bitter and complaining, expecting someone to always lift you out of a fog?
● Are you expecting someone to make you happy all the time and keep you entertained?
● Are you expecting to always get your way and not listen to any constructive advice?
● Are you running from the pressure of being single and wanting to attach to someone else to escape it?
● Do you know how to resolve conflict without throwing temper tantrums?
● Do you have any relationship traumas, romantic or otherwise?
● Do you know how to walk away or do you have to step into someone’s face?
Many of us don’t think about adding value at all, we simply ride the wave of feelings and hope it carries us to the end. I believe we are all intrinsically valuable, as we are made in the image of God. However, your value increases as you gain knowledge of who you are, your likes and dislikes, what you’re good at, what you’re passionate about, and how that can be used to help others. Your value grows when you learn that your words can be a medicine or a poison. That if you choose, they can be drops of life that turn into a stream that runs and nourishes another person’s soul.
Your value grows:
● When you learn to praise and appreciate people.
● When you learn to see people not only for their mistakes but for who they could be with the right love and support.
● When you learn how to listen.
● When you work on any destructive and harmful behaviour.
● When you know how to be humble and apologise for your mistakes.
● When you learn how to forgive, but also how to set boundaries, and not wish someone harm.
● When you learn and take an interest in people, so you can have a better understanding of human behaviour.
● When you invest in your gifts and talents and use them for the benefit of others.
● When you contribute to society in a positive way.
With self-improvement, you become increasingly valuable. A mango tree has value because of what it's fruit gives and adds to someone else.
You are a seed that can grow into a tree of life if you give yourself time to flourish.
Tasks:
1. Ask yourself, ‘Do you want to be in a relationship with you?’
2. Write down why and why not.
3. Polish your good traits so they shine ever so brightly and work on any negative traits, discover their root so you can deal with them effectively.
Written by Jennifer Enti - Assistant Content Creator for Dear Girls.
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