Hey ladies! Welcome to the Art of being Single. This 10-day devotional is here to help those struggling with their singleness to flourish in their singleness and to introspect on their desire for an intimate relationship.
Did you know that 75% of single women were not actively looking for a partner and 61% of single women were happy? This may be a foreign concept to many of us because the idea that all singles are lonely and ever-searching is pushed to the forefront. (Mintel Press Office 2017)
Some singles are not sure what to do with all their ‘single time’. Some think ‘single time’ is meant to be spent searching for a partner or living up to a social media expectation. I remember speaking to a girl during sixth form (we were both 17) who said she’d never been single and wouldn’t know what to do if she was. It shocked me then because I was yet to date. I was definitely late in comparison to many of the girls who had already had heartbreaks and sex. I was the one standing at the edge of the rabbit-hole while all my friends were diving in and experiencing the wonderland of intimate relationships.
One of the things I’ve come to realise is that there is no ‘single time’. There’s just you, existing within the bounds of time. When we’re children, there is no single time, just playtime. We spend our time exploring the limitless bounds of our imagination. And what about when we’re older? There is now ‘you time’. Time to explore not just your imagination, but the world, and the amazing being that YOU are. Even though healthy relationships are great, wouldn’t it be liberating to know the best version of you that lies dormant inside of you? Through my relationship with God, I’ve come to understand that one of the most important pursuits in life is singleness, as it determines the quality of all my relationships.
I’m glad to be able to share the insight that I’ve gained in this 10-day devotional.
Day 1 - The Mango Tree
Depending on where you live in the world, you may have seen a mango tree or even tasted it. Many people love mangoes and rave about them. Why? Because in its fully ripened form, it gives a rich, sweet, and unique taste that people love. I remember when my cousin bought a mango from a cornershop, though the outside looked ripe, he unfortunately didn’t get the sweet experience. As soon as he bit into it, his face shrivelled, and he threw it on the floor. It was rotten! It made me think about how we are as people. Some of us give an appearance of sweetness but we don’t live up to the expectation. Many of us, depending on our time spent investing in ourselves, are either rotten or sweet.
Before searching for a relationship, have you ever stopped to think, which are you? Many of us assume we’re sweet until we’re told otherwise.
Just for a moment, I want you to imagine you are a mango seed. You aren’t ripe and you definitely don’t have any fruit. Your time is not to find another seed to help you grow or to help you feel valued as a small seed among many trees.
You are a seed born to flourish.
Your flourishing is inside of you (not in another seed!) but you need to acknowledge and accept this fact. Just like a fish is born to swim or a bird born to fly, you are born to create (whether material objects or a peaceful, healing, joyful atmosphere).