I was reading this bible plan about comparison and I saw this line: “the grass is actually not greener on the other side”
The maddest thing is, I know this, you know this. Thinking logically, you would think we wouldn't compare ourselves to others, based on this information alone.
Yeah, I know your saying “it's not that simple” right.
The mind is powerful. The mind can create fear about an imaginary situation. The mind can trigger happy feelings. Your mind is powerful.
As humans we overcomplicate things. Yes, the brain is complicated, however, we can bring its function down to a simplistic level. For example, the statement “the grass is actually not greener” tells us that we should stop assuming, just because someone drives an Aston Martin that they are happy. Let me bring this a bit closer to home .. we should stop assuming that because someone posts a picture with loads of packages to be delivered, that they are making profit. The fact is that you just don’t know and you ‘shouldn’t’ care that much.
The real problem is, we do care, but why?
As with everything in life, being able to stop comparing yourself with others is a journey. To go on a journey you need to pack some snacks, have your essentials and music (can’t forget the tuness). So you said you want to stop comparing, which is amazing and I’m so proud of you, but have you prepared yourself? Do you have the essentials to actually stop comparing yourself?
Here are 3 steps to get your started:
1) Search and identify why you are comparing yourself to that person.
What specifically do you like about them, that deep down you think you lack. Write down this trait and either identify and appreciate this trait in you (which you can now see), or highlight another trait that you display (yes, it may be different but still valuable)
2) Make a gratitude list to counteract all the negative reasons you compare yourself to others.
For example, you may compare yourself to others because others seem to get more positive feedback from their customers. We all see the “omdz I love your brand, I needed this” comment. You may then associate this feedback with the business founder being extroverted, whilst you regard yourself as introverted. Now you start to feel ‘less than’. I would first research the positives of being an introvert, because there are some. One being that, introverts are more introspective. In the scenario above this would be a positive, because you can start to plan/ carry out customer research asking them what they think of your brand. This could be used to get to know your customers and create a bond, which as an introvert would feel hard to do. Plusss, just because people don’t tell you you're doing something great, doesn’t mean you aren’t.
This was all based on one review. Do you see how powerful the mind is?
3) Limit the external environment that triggers comparison.
This step is simple, but hard. Let's say everytime you go on instagram all you can think is “I love her hair, but mine is not that long, maybe I should grow mine”, or you see pages increasing in following daily, whilst your page ‘seems’ to not be growing. This is a clear indicator that you need a break off instagram, to increase your self confidence. Yes, girls have longer hair than you, but you are different and you are still beautiful. Yes, other pages may be growing quicker than yours, but followers do not equate to value. Your value lies in your content and the impact you make, so keep making it regardless of the stats Sis.
I know this was a bit of a long one, but this topic comes up a lot and it’s something I’m working on too. Make sure to research, knowledge is power. Let's keep working and loving who we are, what we do and what we offer the world.
We Love That Girl. That Girl Is You.
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